Less than six years ago I felt that I did not need a cellphone. Now, that same device is fundamental to my virtual office efforts. But we haven't had time to catch up with that technology, have we? We are mostly using cellphones like traditional telephones. Badly. This brief e-mail is to explore a few thoughts on this topic.

I am not going to attack the way we have lost any form of etiquette regarding the use of phones in public places. Rather I will concentrate on the business issues.

Let me give you an example. A fellow goes to the cost and trouble of advertising his cellphone number in an advertisement. Yet when you call him he is on the road and unable to either give you details or take your number, and so he asks you to phone his office number! Or a fellow that you are talking to while trying to buy a R350,000 plot takes 4 cellphone calls from various builders (without apology) while trying to assist you. Or after standing in a queue for 15 minutes, and finally getting to someone who can help you, that person takes a cellphone call. In each of these cases in the sale is probably not going to happen. You, the purchaser, is going to get very upset - making the negotiation that much harder. And people tell me that business is tough out there?

The biggest challenge arising from cellphones is the fact that it is so easy to make an instant, frivolous call - without thinking about your question for more than 12 microseconds. This wouldn't be so bad if we found the callee on this first effort. But what happens if he isn't there [or isn't answering the call]? Then we leave a message [without details] asking him to call back. Which he does, only to find that we’re not at our phone! And so it continues, until you eventually touch base while he's in the toilet with one hand occupied and the phone crunched into his neck - and you've forgotten the original reason for the call so you make up another frivolous reason. The only winner in this debacle is MTN/Vodacom/Telkom who have made R2 per call. Multiply this scenario by a few million and you can see why they’re doing so well.

From a business perspective it costs money to receive phone calls. Most of us equip our offices with receptionists for this very purpose - and they encourage even more phone calls because they are sticking to their jobs with all the strength of a desperate barnacle. In the ideal world the only calls you would receive would be those that involve incoming money - preferably tomorrow!

One of the best things about cellphones is the answering mechanism, and when this is combined with the extremely low price of a cellphone line, then we have something that we can use.

For example, to handle the millions of phone calls resulting from a brief advert offering a job. Use a cellphone to pick up the initial response and offer full details of the job. Then direct qualified applicants to fax or e-mail CVs. This will save you lots of time and hassle in dealing with people blatantly unqualified for the job.

This could also work when offering more information about a product. Record a message giving details of the product (in my case that could include directions to a venue, starting and ending times of a seminar, reasons why someone should attend, etc.). Then simply direct interested parties to that number. If you’re offering information as part of your service – such as exchange rates or product prices or surfing conditions – then your total cost for the year is just R120. [That’s based on Vodago Call-A-Lot – 365 days of incoming calls, and your calls to the voicemail centre are free.] You don’t even need a new phone – simply a new line. Once a day swop the SIM cards in your regular cellphone and record the latest message.

One of the most useful features of such a simple service is that it can handle multiple incoming calls simultaneously - unlike a regular Telkom line. This means that people get through first time, every time.

A personal remark about telephones. Ten years ago I closed a business. During its lifetime it had made a number of suppliers lots of money. They seemed to forget this in their enthusiasm to collect the outstanding (very tiny) balances. Most lost their dignity. And after three years of constant telephonic abuse, I began to hate the telephone with the passion that one normally reserves for people driving cars at high speeds 1 metre behind you on the highway. Every time I hear a cellphone ring - even if it isn't mine - my heart rate accelerates. This could be why the best way to get a response from me personally is via e-mail.

© Peter Carruthers, www.petesweekly.co.za

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